Volume One: The Young Monk Returns to Secular Life Chapter Fifty-Four: Setting Out Overnight to Watch My Son Scoop Manure

I Don't Want to Be a Hero Temporarily confidential. 3238 words 2026-04-13 16:05:28

His son just passed the imperial examination as a scholar—was that really something to be so proud of? Lin Chen thought of this, and then recalled his own foolish son, Lin Dong...

He was nearly driven to rage...

“Master... Young Master Lin Dong asked me to give you this letter...” Li Si, seeing Lin Chen so furious, dared not conceal anything and handed over the letter.

Originally, Li Si had intended to give the letter to the lady of the house first, so they could come up with a plan and plead on Lin Dong’s behalf.

But there was no choice...

If he didn’t bring out the letter now, his master might storm Golden Mountain Temple immediately.

Li Si, having never studied, didn’t know what Lin Dong had written in the letter.

Otherwise, he would never have dared deliver it.

...

Lin Chen’s mood eased a little when he saw the letter. He calmed himself and took the letter from Li Si.

He opened the envelope. On the white paper, there was a single line, simply written.

Lin Chen studied the paper for a long time, then turned it over and looked again.

Only then did he remember—he couldn’t read...

How embarrassing...

...

After all, he was a man of martial background, raised among swords and spears, never having learned to read...

Because of this, he was often mocked by that old rascal Lu Yiping for being a brute...

“Li Si! Why are you standing there, dozing? Go fetch the steward!” Lin Chen, seeing Li Si frozen in place, grew angry and shouted.

“Yes... yes, Master.” Li Si replied and ran out.

Soon, the steward arrived.

He was a kindly old man in specially tailored attire of the Lin household, his eyes glinting with shrewdness—a model steward.

“Master, did you call for me?”

The steward bowed slightly.

“Come here—look at this letter and tell me what it means!” Lin Chen said, handing over the letter.

The steward recognized Lin Dong’s handwriting immediately and lowered his head to read.

Actually, Lin Dong’s calligraphy was quite refined, the elegant script leaping off the page—easy to read.

But the steward stared at the line for a long time... reading it over and over...

Something seemed off...

Time ticked by...

Lin Chen, waiting beside him, was nearly asleep...

---

Lin Chen’s patience finally wore thin, so he asked, “Steward... do you not recognize the words Lin Dong wrote?”

Thinking this through, Lin Chen felt a bit comforted. In his mind, if Lin Dong could write words that even the secretary couldn’t read, that meant his son’s learning had improved...

“Well... Master... I do recognize these words... But... I...” The steward hesitated, unsure how to read them aloud.

“Come now, what’s the delay? Read it—don’t waste time!” Lin Chen hated dithering and urged him on.

“Alright...” The steward braced himself and read: “Honored Father and Mother: Your son is cleaning latrines at Golden Mountain Temple. All is well. I am happy. Please do not worry.”

???

“What is this?” Lin Chen abruptly sat upright, his eyes wide. “Read it again!”

“Your son is cleaning latrines at Golden Mountain Temple. All is well. I am happy. Please do not worry...”

“Steward... did I mishear? I could swear you said ‘cleaning latrines’...” Lin Chen frowned in disbelief.

“No mistake... it says ‘cleaning latrines’...” The steward, sensing Lin Chen’s confusion, even mimed the action.

Yes, a very standard gesture...

“Scoundrel!” Lin Chen’s face flushed with anger. He slapped the table and exclaimed, “Was there not enough manure at home? Why go to Golden Mountain Temple?”

The steward beside him shuddered in terror—indeed, his master’s thinking was extraordinary.

...

After speaking, Lin Chen sat down. It took him a while to realize what had happened.

“Damn it! Cleaning latrines?”

...

His mind slowly returned to normal...

Other people’s sons pass the examination and go off to relieve disaster...

My son cleans latrines?

...

When the truth sank in, Lin Chen’s face turned green. He immediately ordered the steward to prepare the carriage and set off overnight to see his son clean latrines...

...

Meanwhile, Golden Mountain Temple was bustling.

A crowd of monks gathered at the gate, gossiping animatedly.

“Xiao Yan’s in big trouble this time... I heard that the scholar he hit with a drumstick yesterday has come back for revenge!”

“He brought a bunch of soldiers... Looks like trouble’s brewing...”

“But I haven’t seen him at all today... Who knows where he went?”

...

Lu Xiaoming entered with a large entourage, shouting, “Where is Xiao Yan? Today I’ll capture this villain!”

Lu Xiaoming was well prepared—his plan was thorough. First, he would denounce Xiao Yan, then let the constables take him away and lock him up for a few days.

---

His father was the influential Lu Yiping, so the magistrate would surely give him face.

However, after circling the temple with all his men, there was no sign of Xiao Yan.

“Damn it! Where did he go?” Lu Xiaoming muttered, grabbing a monk to ask, “Where’s Xiao Yan?”

But several monks simply shook their heads.

So, Lu Xiaoming headed straight for the abbot’s chamber.

He kicked open the tightly locked door. A mere abbot of Golden Mountain Temple deserved no respect—especially one who had produced a shameless rogue like Xiao Yan.

Yet, he was unprepared for what he saw inside.

The abbot was patting his backside, Elder Huiren was flushed and panting—it seemed they were engaged in something unspeakable.

The room was filled with gold and silver treasures. Was the abbot’s backside worth so much? Was it gilded?

“With the northern calamity so severe, you dare indulge in such debauchery? Seize it all!” Before the abbot could speak, Lu Xiaoming imposed a heavy accusation, his eyes flashing with greed.

The soldiers behind him grinned—though the bulk of the loot would go to Young Master Lu, whatever trickled down to them would mean a few days of enjoyment.

“Hold on, these are donations for northern relief—don’t touch them...” Elder Huiren, regaining composure, stepped forward.

“That’s fine, hand it over to us.” Lu Xiaoming cut him off. Was he joking? He would never let the prize slip from his grasp.

The soldiers rushed to confiscate the donations. Of course, they had heard of the martial prowess of the temple monks, but could they really defy the government? One charge of rebellion and the whole temple would be razed!

“Lu Xiaoming, stop right there!” Lin Dong’s voice rang out behind him. He brandished a manure ladle, furious. “This is money Master Xiao Yan earned painstakingly for disaster relief, and you dare try to take it?”

Raised in an official’s household, Lin Dong knew well the filth and corruption of officialdom, but he hadn’t expected they’d stoop so low as to grasp at relief donations.

“Xiao Yan? Perfect. His money must be ill-gotten.” Lu Xiaoming spoke with righteous indignation, but his greedy gaze betrayed him.

“You!” Lin Dong trembled with rage, pointing the manure ladle at Lu Xiaoming.

“Heh, you think guarding the latrines for a few days makes you invincible? That’s just the martial world giving face to your general father. If you ask me, you’re from an official family, yet you sink so low as to clean latrines at Golden Mountain Temple—what a disgrace to us all.” Lu Xiaoming wasn’t at all afraid of Lin Dong. In fact, he had always looked down on the Lin family for their lack of culture. He never imagined that the son of a high official would be foolish enough to clean latrines.

Lin Dong burst out laughing in fury, stepping closer to Lu Xiaoming.

“Wait, don’t come any closer.” Lu Xiaoming retreated in panic, nearly falling. Supported by the soldiers behind him, he regained his composure and sneered, “Hmph, let’s be clear—you’re nothing but a failure.”

He waved his hand, signaling the soldiers to beat Lin Dong senseless.

“Is that so?” Lin Dong paid no heed to the soldiers, continuing to approach Lu Xiaoming.

The soldiers weren’t fools. Young Master Lin was a scion of the magistrate—daring to hit him was courting death.

But Young Master Lu commanded them; refusing was likewise fatal.

Thus, they stood still. Instead, Lin Dong struck first.

Lin Dong spoke coldly to Lu Xiaoming: “This is my final gift to you. From now on, we are finished. Take this—Fire Phoenix Sweeps the Plains.”

He raised the manure ladle, which seemed to ignite, and swept it overhead, transforming into a fire phoenix that lunged straight for Lu Xiaoming’s face.

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