Chapter Thirty: The Manure-Scooping Sword Technique

“Come, come, I really envy you! You get to apprentice under such a formidable elder—many of the new monks would give anything for that chance!” Zhuge Yixiu grinned mischievously as he pulled the young man along into the temple.

“But… why do I feel like something’s not quite right…” Lin Dong hesitated, touching his freshly shaven head and sighing. After all, the deed was done; there was no turning back now.

Glancing at the scoundrel ahead, he could only follow, though his reluctance was plain.

“Hey, have you ever heard of the Eighteen Arhats Formation?” Zhuge Yixiu continued, eager to entice him.

“I’ve heard of it. From what I know, no one has managed to clear it in hundreds of years.” Lin Dong nodded.

“Heh, well, guess what? Your future master, Elder Xiao Yan, cleared it just a few days ago! Won in his sleep! You get what I’m saying?”

“But… I heard even Li Bai couldn’t clear it. That doesn’t seem possible. How powerful is he, then?” Lin Dong was clearly skeptical, but played along.

“Take a guess.” Zhuge Yixiu’s tone was full of mystery.

“Thirty levels? No, he must be stronger than Li Bai—thirty-one?”

Zhuge Yixiu shook his head vigorously.

“Wait… could it be more than thirty-one?” Lin Dong’s eyes sparkled with excitement.

“Heh… you’ll find out in time…” Zhuge Yixiu avoided a direct answer, only offering an awkward chuckle.

In time, huh?

Nothing seems off about that…

Should he tell him that Xiao Yan only reached the fifth level? Not a chance—this guy would bolt in an instant…

Just then, Elder Hui Ren approached, accompanied by a young monk. Upon spotting Zhuge Yixiu, Elder Hui Ren frowned.

“Zhuge Yixiu, what are you up to? Not up to your usual tricks, I hope?” Elder Hui Ren stopped, his tone accusatory as he pointed at Zhuge Yixiu.

“I’m not! I’m just helping Elder Xiao Yan with something… really…” Zhuge Yixiu stammered, forcing a smile.

“Elder Xiao Yan? Hmph! He’s hardly worthy of the title,” Elder Hui Ren scoffed, his face full of disdain. His gaze landed on Lin Dong, his brow furrowing at the unfamiliar face.

A new recruit, perhaps?

“Hmm?” The young monk beside Hui Ren stared at Lin Dong for a long moment, then exclaimed in surprise, “You’re Lin Dong? I almost didn’t recognize you with your head shaved.”

“And you’re Gou Dan?” Lin Dong recognized him too—an honest fellow who used to be his neighbor.

“Um… I’m not called Gou Dan anymore. My master gave me a monastic name,” the young monk said with some pride.

After all, receiving a monastic name meant you’d caught an elder’s eye.

“So, what should I call you now?”

“Call me Yuan Gou Dan! I’m of the Yuan generation… my master spent a long time thinking up this name. Impressive, isn’t it?”

Lin Dong was at a loss for words, glancing from Elder Hui Ren, who was nodding in approval, to Yuan Gou Dan, and found himself speechless.

Was there really any difference from his old name?

Still Gou Dan at heart.

This elder must have a wicked sense of humor… or just couldn’t be bothered to think up a better name.

“Ahem, Yuan Gou Dan, I don’t take disciples lightly. Even if he’s your friend, he must have martial talent. Some, like a certain chubby fellow here, simply don’t,” Elder Hui Ren said, shooting Zhuge Yixiu a look.

Zhuge Yixiu only snorted, unconcerned.

“I…” Lin Dong wanted to say he had no intention of becoming a monk, let alone someone’s apprentice, but Zhuge Yixiu’s words about the formidable elder piqued his interest.

Blushing, Lin Dong said, “I’ve already apprenticed under Elder Xiao Yan.”

“Mm, mm.” Zhuge Yixiu nodded in affirmation.

“Elder Xiao Yan? Which Elder Xiao Yan?” Yuan Gou Dan was momentarily confused.

“Hmph! That scoundrel? What could he possibly teach you?” Elder Hui Ren’s eyes flashed with anger at the mention of Xiao Yan.

Now Lin Dong, too, began to feel uneasy…

“Lin Dong, I think you’d be better off apprenticing under my master. Only his disciples become truly formidable—look how strong I am now…” Yuan Gou Dan pulled Lin Dong aside and whispered earnestly.

He immediately stripped off his robe, showing off a muscular physique—his energy gathered at his core!

A tangible force radiated out—the pressure of inner strength at the tenth level!

Elder Hui Ren nodded in satisfaction. Though the senior disciple Yuan Tong had disappeared mysteriously, at least he still had an outstanding student to show off.

“See? Impressive, right?” Yuan Gou Dan flexed his muscles proudly.

“Mm.” Lin Dong nodded, a hint of envy rising within him.

As they spoke, a figure approached from the rear mountain, moving leisurely, balancing a yoke across his shoulders, a dog ambling at his side.

Noticing how everyone’s gaze drifted to the newcomer, Lin Dong looked over as well.

“That figure seems familiar… Wait, is that an elder?”

Yuan Gou Dan paused, recalling Lin Dong’s earlier words about his apprenticeship, and pointed at the figure with a gloating smile. “Look, your master is carrying night soil.”

Lin Dong frowned at the sight. That’s Elder Xiao Yan?

Wait…

How could this be?

Even after a while, Lin Dong couldn’t wrap his head around it. Wasn’t this man supposed to be even more skilled than Li Bai?

So why… was he now carrying manure?

“Hey, Lin Dong, your master’s calling you to help him out,” Zhuge Yixiu nudged the dazed Lin Dong.

“Oh…”

He remembered when, after clearing the challenge, the abbot had approached with a smile, whispered something in Xiao Yan’s ear, and strode off. Xiao Yan hadn’t caught the words clearly, but assumed that becoming an elder meant important responsibilities.

Only the next day, when someone led him to the latrine, did he realize with utter disbelief that the cunning abbot had assigned him to manage the dung pits…

This… wasn’t he supposed to be an honorary elder?

How did he become the Elder of Excrement?

The next day, voices carried from not far off in the rear mountain, with Zhuge Yixiu keeping a safe distance, watching with an amused grin.

“Master,” Lin Dong called out, holding his nose, his face full of disgust.

“Heh, so you’re my disciple? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you. Winner, winner, chicken dinner!” Xiao Yan patted his shoulder.

“…Master, monks aren’t supposed to kill or eat meat.”

“Oh, just testing you, don’t take it seriously,” Xiao Yan quickly recovered, winking.

…

“Right, let me show you something. I’ll only demonstrate once—this is a martial art I’ve just invented. From now on, this promising manure-carrying job is all yours.”

Really? There’s actually a martial art to teach?

Hearing this, Lin Dong frowned in confusion and looked over curiously.

He watched as Xiao Yan picked up a ladle, scooped up a large pile of dung, strutted over to the vegetable patch, and shouted, “Blazing Wildfire!”

As soon as he shouted, Xiao Yan swung the ladle in the air with odd but earnest movements.

It almost looked as if he was channeling some inner force…

Lin Dong rubbed his eyes. Was he just imagining things?

In the next instant, dung rained across the vegetable patch, splattering everywhere.

Even from afar, Lin Dong could almost smell the stench.

“Master…” The novice’s voice was tinged with desperation.

“What is it?”

“It… it seems the dung flew all over me…”

“Oh, just a bit.”

“…”

“Don’t sweat the small stuff. By the way, I’ve got another original move—the Soaring Phoenix! Want to see it?”

“No!”

“It’s really impressive!”

“No!”

From a distance, Yuan Tiedan’s eyes were wide with disbelief. He was profoundly grateful to have Elder Hui Ren as his master. If he’d ended up with Xiao Yan, this madman, he’d be doomed…

Xiao Yan handed over the manure duties to a thoroughly filthy Lin Dong, then headed back to his quarters to slack off.

Watching Xiao Yan’s retreating figure, Lin Dong was moved to tears—the first time he’d cried since arriving on the mountain.

In his mind echoed the words of the fortune-teller he’d met before coming up the mountain: “Young man, your face is shadowed—romance is in your future! Go to Jinshan Temple. Have you heard of Bai Suzhen and Xu Xian? Their love began at Jinshan Temple…”

As Xiao Yan walked away, humming an odd tune, he suddenly turned, winked at Lin Dong, and raised a fist. “Good luck!”

Good luck your foot!

Though Lin Dong felt as though he’d been trampled by a herd of wild horses, he could only shake his head and begin his new life as the temple’s manure collector.

Zhuge Yixiu sauntered over, grinning. “Hey, is it really okay to trick that kid like this?”

“Baldy! I was genuinely teaching him martial arts. What, do you think I should tell you about the Dung-Scooping Sword Technique I created?”

“Tch, Dung-Scooping Sword Technique… You’re just lazy… It wasn’t easy to fool him into joining. Don’t drive him away, or you’ll lose your disciple and your title as elder.”

“Who cares about being the Elder of Excrement…”

“Don’t forget about that matter…”

“Mm.” For once, Xiao Yan’s unserious expression turned solemn, and he nodded earnestly.