50. Night Wanderings: Loss and Gain
Of course, discomfort was inevitable.
As for how much it hurt, he couldn’t say.
Watching the door gently close before him, Li An turned and returned to his own classroom.
Adults value dignity in their actions.
He believed he had preserved his own; it wasn’t his doing, but he bore the blame.
There was only a trace of regret.
There were no “what ifs”—so be it.
It wasn’t so bad to remain just colleagues.
Li An wandered over to the piano, sat down, and picked up his practice from where he had left off that morning.
...
Piano practice cures all ills; Bach never lied.
An entire afternoon passed, and Li An found much solace in his music.
After finishing Ji Yang’s evening lesson, rather than returning to Wanhe Mansion, he took the bus to Rongcheng Conservatory of Music.
He wanted to see what his old school looked like now.
Passing through the main gate, two rows of plane trees swayed in the night breeze. Guided by memory, he found the third tree on the left.
Beneath this tree, a girl named Qiu Lin had once stolen a kiss from him.
“Heh.”
He’d been bold back then, even daring to flirt with such a forthright senior.
Li An wouldn’t dare now.
He walked down the path shaded by plane trees, and soon a red-roofed practice building came into view. His eyes instinctively sought out the leftmost window on the second floor.
It was in that very practice room that Wei Sanwan had scolded him for four years.
“Teachers scold you for your own good. There’s no need to hold a grudge if you can’t feel gratitude.”
Li An found himself missing his old piano teacher.
Continuing past the practice rooms, Li An came upon the athletic field under the night sky.
There, with a girl named Luo Yitian, he had once sat hand in hand counting the stars for a week.
He looked up at the smoggy sky. “That pipa-playing junior must have 20/20 vision.”
If her eyesight was so good, how did she fail to see what kind of person she really was?
Suddenly, the sound of children’s laughter echoed from afar. Following the voices, Li An approached.
It was a small basketball court, where a group of kids were playing.
On this very court, he’d once gotten into a fight with a vocal major because his roommate had been bullied.
“Well, what’s youth without a bit of fire in the veins?”
Still, as a pianist, he needed to protect his hands.
A little further on were two old residential buildings, with a small restaurant nestled between them.
A memory of eating with Wang Panpan and their dorm mates surfaced—right here in this converted restaurant.
“Wang Panpan was such a country girl in her freshman year.”
How she’d changed with time.
His gaze drifted past the building on the left and landed on a wooden bench.
Li An turned and walked into the small restaurant.
“What’ll you have?” the owner asked.
“A pack of Liqun, and a one-yuan lighter.”
After scanning to pay, Li An took his cigarettes and sat down on the wooden bench.
He glanced around; this spot was truly secluded.
Perfect for young couples, spurred by hormones, to do strange yet not-too-outlandish things.
Whenever he couldn’t afford to call home, he would come here.
For a moment, he sat quietly.
Li An deftly unwrapped the pack, took a cigarette, and placed it between his lips.
With a click and the faint hiss of tobacco burning in the air, a long-missed pleasure washed over him.
After a while, he pulled out his phone and dialed a number.
After three seconds, the call was answered.
“Mom, I miss you.”
A man’s voice replied, “Wrong number,” before hanging up.
Li An set his phone down, wanting to laugh but unable to.
This time, it was homesickness—he missed his parents.
When the cigarette was done, he rose and headed to his final destination: the photo wall outside the auditorium.
Among the photographs, he found one of himself, playing Schumann’s Piano Sonata No. 1 on stage.
He was eighteen in the picture—youthful, inexperienced, his eyes shining with light.
“When I was eighteen, I couldn’t yet play that piece.”
“I know, your talent surpasses mine.”
“I plan to sell the graphics card soon. If you can’t bear to part with it, try to understand.”
“Alright, if you have anything else to say, make it quick. I need to sleep.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”
Li An lit another cigarette, leaning against the wall.
Moments later, he turned and left.
Outside the school gate, watching the bustling street, he felt as if he’d awoken from a dream.
He felt much lighter.
“Whew.”
Just before boarding the bus, he patted his pocket and realized something was missing.
He immediately returned to the auditorium entrance and retrieved his cigarettes and lighter from the ground.
Those together cost fifteen yuan.
He glanced once more at his photograph, smiled wryly, and then departed for good.
On the bus, he called his mother.
“Mm, I’m finished here. Are you two watching TV again? The volume’s so loud—turn it down a bit.”
“No worries, I’ve eaten.”
“...”
——
Back home, Li An took a comforting hot shower, then lay in bed and pulled out his phone, planning to read the novel Ma Tao had recommended.
‘My Piano—’
Suddenly, the system flashed before his eyes.
He was already familiar with that blue glow.
He set his phone aside and summoned the interface.
His experience points had reached (40/40).
He’d leveled up again, his heart calm as still water.
Xiao Bei was already diligent, and now with Ji Yang, a piano practice fanatic, helping out, he expected his advancement to quicken.
‘Do you wish to level up?’
The system prompt appeared.
‘Yes.’
A blue light flashed.
On the screen, his level changed from 2 to 3, and his experience reset to (0/100).
‘Congratulations, Teacher Li An, your level is now +1.’
‘Potential student list capacity +1.’
In the blink of an eye, the familiar cartoon scene unfolded before him, but this time Ji Yang was there to help.
The three of them, each with a hoe in hand, approached a plot of land.
Three hoes struck the earth with rhythmic clinks.
‘Digging up upgrade rewards. At level 3, you may unearth one item.’
‘Please wait.’
With his mindset now transformed, Li An hoped for a reward that might truly help him in life.
Perhaps a complete guide to Sichuan cuisine, some interior design plans, or fluency in cat language—all things he needed and longed to try.
As he daydreamed, the three figures on the screen dug faster and faster.
A minute passed, but nothing was yet uncovered.
Suddenly, under Ji Yang’s feet, a golden light flashed—something Li An had never seen before.
Previously, it had always been white or blue.
With a burst of gold, the three teacher and students on the screen no longer hung their heads; instead, they raised their hoes in celebration.
“A tattered notebook has been found.”
[Tattered Notebook]: Contains what appears to be excerpts from Samuil Feinberg’s piano teaching notes.
Li An jolted upright.
Startled, the cat Bawan leaped off the bed and, still practicing, retreated a few steps.
Reading the description, Li An’s heart pounded faster and faster.
Samuil Feinberg...
Samuil Feinberg...
Li An narrowed his eyes, thinking quickly.
If he remembered correctly,
this was one of the four founders of the Russian piano school, famed for his elusive right-hand technique known as—
The Soaring Wing.