Chapter Thirteen: The Witch of Flowers

Something’s Not Right With This Calamity Text Adventure Game Kaka No. 3 3552 words 2026-03-19 08:09:41

Flowers growing from one’s head? The merchant with the cloth doll’s head made Chen Qi wonder if all these people with bizarre heads were lunatics.

[The Morning Star traced a graceful arc across the sky and came to rest on the small, crimson purse at the woman’s waist.]

Morning Star, are you telling me to commit robbery? Chen Qi couldn’t help but mutter to himself.

Is the treasure in her purse? Do I even stand a chance against her?

[The woman with flowers blooming from her head writhed in agony on the ground, crying out in despair and loneliness:

“Will anyone come to save me?”

“Give it up; no one will save you. You’ll be trapped here forever, forced to eat nothing but flowers to survive each day.”

“No, no, the flower sprites here taste terrible! Why did I ever heed the Lamp’s guidance?”

That’s because you’re a fool with flowers sprouting from your head! Hahaha! Fool!”]

“…”

Chen Qi was bewildered by the sheer delirium of her fragmented mutterings.

[The woman’s desperate soliloquy echoed through the room—clearly, her isolation had driven her mad.]

Is this raving lunatic the final boss of the dungeon? Chen Qi speculated, clicking to inspect her title.

Her level surpassed five; most of her attributes were hidden except for one—Charisma.

The woman’s Charisma was an astonishing 42, more than four times that of a normal person!

Surely this game doesn’t have some kind of charm mechanic, does it?

With such high Charisma, Chen Qi could only hope that his in-game character’s willpower wasn’t weaker than his own.

In the very next instant, a glaring, scarlet message blazed before his eyes!

[The woman with flowers growing from her head has noticed you:

“Did you hear my ramblings just now?”]

[You heard them! The woman with flowers for hair leaps up and charges at you with a twisted expression!]

Am I about to be attacked? Chen Qi’s heart skipped a beat; combat against opponents above level five was notoriously difficult!

But to his dismay, the gulf in their abilities left him no chance to attack.

The messages raced past!

[A wave of floral fragrance assaults you, flooding your body with a tingling euphoria. Amidst the scent, you feel dizzy and lose part of your memory.]

What sort of ridiculous thing just attacked me?

Chen Qi glanced at the clock, making sure he hadn’t lost time in reality.

Thankfully, there was no severe health deduction.

[When you open your eyes again, someone who calls herself the “Witch of Flowers” sits upon a floral chair, sipping flower tea. She claims to be the master alchemist of Black River Prison—a mysterious figure known as the Witch of Flowers.

With a gentle tone, she stresses to you that mystery is her veil, and elegance her habit.]

[You recall that within the prison, you’ve heard tales of this personage—her rank is no lower than that of your superior, the Houndmaster.]

[You stare, wide-eyed—her overwhelming Charisma compels your scrutiny.]

“???”

[She is a tall, graceful woman in a resplendent gown. Vivid flowers bloom from the region around her eyes and ears, veiling the upper half of her face.

Yet even with her features obscured, you sense a beauty and innocence beyond mortal ken, her skin fair, her countenance delicate, her silvery hair as soft as silk.]

[Such beauty, and such an intoxicating scent…]

“??”

Chen Qi was deeply concerned that his character’s willpower might not suffice, costing him a precious life.

[You shake your head! The Lamp’s image triggers—you remain clear-headed!

You instinctively take a few steps back; mere Charisma is not enough to make you forget the peril of this moment.]

“That’s a relief, isn’t it?”

Chen Qi let out a long breath—luckily, his in-game character’s resolve held firm.

[The Witch of Flowers gives you a gentle smile and says softly, “Traveler, it seems you are in some trouble. Do you require my help?”]

[Please make your choice.]

[

1. Decline her help and flee immediately; her flowered head fills you with dread.

2. Nod and accept her help; in this lonely exploration, you need another’s protection.

3. Nod and accept, and also ask if she needs help as well.

]

Can I really escape from this monster?

In front of the Witch of Flowers, he hadn’t even had the chance to draw his blade—he was no match for her.

When faced with an unbeatable foe, it was wiser to pursue a peaceful development strategy.

And from the text, it seemed the Witch of Flowers was also trapped and couldn’t leave.

Perhaps she needed help herself?

He chose the third option—would she need help?

[“I need help?” The Witch of Flowers smiled elegantly, her gaze inspecting you from head to toe as she explained:

“Thank you for your kind offer, Night Watcher, but you are but an ordinary Night Watcher. The fact that you are alive here is already a miracle—you cannot help me.”]

So I’m not qualified to help?

Chen Qi considered it—after all, he was just a rookie, newly entered into the game. Not every quest was meant for him; it was natural that he couldn’t take on high-level missions.

His character’s thoughts mirrored his own.

[The Witch of Flowers refuses your help. Since you cannot be of use, you prudently decide to seek an escape route on your own.]

A new message appeared.

[You find it difficult to move; something impedes your progress.]

[“However, if you insist on helping me, it is not impossible.” The Witch of Flowers suddenly calls out to you.]

[You look down—roots from a flower have wound around your ankle. Will you ‘insist’ on helping her?]

What the hell?

What kind of bizarre NPC is this?

Even through mere text, Chen Qi could sense the Witch of Flowers’ pride and vanity.

Yes.

[“I admire your courage and adventurous spirit, Night Watcher, for daring to enter the Land of Faint Light. I will remember you.” The Witch of Flowers decides to share what she knows.

She tells you that you and she are both trapped within the stomach of the Gluttonous Flower.]

I’m inside a monster’s stomach!

Where on earth has the Lamp brought me?

And what is this Gluttonous Flower? Chen Qi couldn’t help but wonder.

[The Witch of Flowers continues her explanation: the Gluttonous Flower was formed from the remains of a calamity. It isn’t a monster, but an object born from extreme desire.

Now, its roots have fused with the earth and can alter the landscape at will, sealing all exits.

That’s why you cannot see any way out here.]

She had entered the Gluttonous Flower’s stomach of her own accord, driven by her noble spirit of exploration. Yet even in these winding caverns, she could not find a way out.

She emphasized that, for ten days, she had remained calm, continually pondering a means of escape.]

You call writhing on the ground “staying calm”? Chen Qi stifled the urge to retort.

[According to what she knows, only by offering the Gluttonous Flower an absolutely delectable, crimson delicacy can it be soothed into pacification.]

A sacrifice?

Chen Qi was alarmed—did the Witch of Flowers intend to offer him up? According to the text, his own flesh would count as a delicacy.

[The Witch of Flowers perceives your terror and explains:

Not even her own elegant, fragrant hair could satisfy the Gluttonous Flower. You certainly wouldn’t be more palatable; you could never sate its insatiable hunger. She gently advises:

“Night Watcher, control your inner greed. The Gluttonous Flower is not something you can appease—cherish your life.”]

The Witch of Flowers tells you that she has no wish for you to sacrifice yourself, but hopes you will offer a specially prepared, spirit-infused and nourishing flower potion to the Gluttonous Flower instead.

For reasons unknown, she herself can no longer enter the sanctuary required for the offering.]

[The Witch of Flowers asks that you enter the sanctuary and present her potion to the Gluttonous Flower, to prevent its rage and buy you both time for rescue.

If you succeed, she will reward you with a rare potion and protect you after the moon rises, as well as teach you how to elegantly consume flower sprites until a Seeker tracks you down.]

[Will you accept the Witch of Flowers’ quest?]

I don’t think I have a choice.

Accept.

Given the circumstances, Chen Qi was on a dead-end path.

[You accept the quest. The Witch of Flowers strokes the potion bottle, then hands it to you with obvious reluctance.]

[To your surprise, the Morning Star also follows the bottle, indicating its exceptional value.]

[You have obtained: a bottle of carefully crafted Flower Spirit Potion.]

[Flower Spirit Potion: A potion crafted by a master alchemist for the powerful.

Upon consumption, instantly restores all health, heals serious wounds, and grants regeneration for two hours (restoring 2 HP every half minute).]

Chen Qi’s eyes lit up—this was no ordinary potion.

Instant full recovery, plus 2 HP every half minute. Considering his current maximum HP was only 20, that meant he could be back to full health in just five minutes!

Does this mean he could heal while fighting?

Clearly, this was an item beyond his current level.

Tempting, but alas, it was a quest item—likely to be offered to the Gluttonous Flower.

[The Witch of Flowers points out the path. Behind the wall behind her is the passage to the Gluttonous Flower’s sanctuary. As long as you approach, the Flower Gate will open for you.]

[You set out with the potion in hand. The closer you get, the more saliva pools in your mouth.]

[The Flower Gate stands open before you.]

As Chen Qi stepped into the Gluttonous Flower’s sanctuary, several jumbled messages flashed by.

[Your mind is a blur; the descriptions of this flower, as told by the Night Watchers, echo in your ears.]

[If you can satisfy the crimson Gluttonous Flower, you will gain the means to change your frail flesh, to escape the tragic fate of a Night Watcher!]

[But as a Night Watcher, how would you know what true delicacy is? How could you possibly satisfy the supreme desires of the Flower Aspect?]

[What can you offer?

Yourself?]