Chapter 47: The Amorous Obsession of Longye, Like a Dream and an Illusion

Long Ye gazed into the void, his voice heavy as he replied, “Because I lost you, life lost its meaning. Jin Xiaodao never left my side; she accompanied me through every day and night of searching for you. She was like my shadow, soothing my despair and helplessness. When searching for you became the lingering regret of my life, I realized I could not forsake the woman who stayed by me. But the tragedy is, once I stopped betraying her, my heart was filled only with thoughts of you and a daily, overwhelming guilt toward you. Though I never loved Jin Xiaodao, now I feel unworthy even to love you!” As he spoke, the tough lines of Long Ye’s face softened with boundless tenderness; his eyes reddened, yet he struggled to hold back tears. Finally, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly.

Meng Xiaoli’s eyes brimmed with tears, but she refused to let them fall. It seemed an invisible battle had formed between them: whoever shed tears first would lose. She kept her expression stoic and urged herself inwardly to forgive after nine long years—long enough for anything to have happened, yet she should choose forgiveness.

Controlling her tone to sound indifferent, Meng Xiaoli asked, “So, in your heart, do you think all of this is my fault?”

Long Ye opened his palms, the knuckles distinct and veins bulging as he clenched and unclenched his fists. He replied softly, “At this point, there’s no right or wrong; it’s just fate’s cruel jest. I only wish you had chosen to communicate with me instead of turning away—because once you miss the chance, there’s no turning back.”

“If we had communicated,” Meng Xiaoli interrupted, “you wouldn’t have feared betraying Jin Xiaodao by marrying her and having a child with her.”

Long Ye’s eyes locked onto Meng Xiaoli’s, sincere, resolute, and unyielding. Slowly, he rose. Meng Xiaoli continued, “Jin Xiaodao told me herself that our daughter, Long Ze, was pushed off a cliff by her.”

Nine years ago, Meng Xiaoli had said the same to Long Ye, yet the Jin Xiaodao he knew was always innocent, kind, fragile, and pitiable. Even through nine years of uncertainty and hardship while searching for Meng Xiaoli, Jin Xiaodao never abandoned him and cared for him devotedly.

Now, hearing it again, Long Ye still found it hard to believe. But this time, he was willing to trust Meng Xiaoli because there was no longer any need for deception—neither for him nor for Jin Xiaodao. Though stunned, Long Ye began to accept the possibility that Jin Xiaodao may not have been cruel to the world but had been unkind to Meng Xiaoli—she had harmed her, even cruelly killed their child. She had destroyed Meng Xiaoli’s life, and yet he had married the woman who had hurt her.

Long Ye collapsed into a chair, memories flooding back. The more he had defended Jin Xiaodao, the more brutally he had stabbed Meng Xiaoli’s heart. He pressed his hands to his forehead, eyes shut tight, finally breaking down in silent tears, his shoulders trembling with the effort to restrain himself.

Meng Xiaoli, proud and victorious, though her eyes shimmered with tears, sat upright with her head held high, expressionless—unwilling to comfort, sympathize, or reveal even a hint of lingering love.

Long Ye quickly wiped away his tears as if by chance, then straightened up and sighed deeply. “Nothing can be undone now. I have my answer. Seeing you well now, I can be at peace. I must not disturb you anymore. I should leave.” With that, he stood and cast a final glance at Meng Xiaoli, who slowly rose in turn, still wearing that faint smile—the same pale smile as when they first met.

Though reluctant, Long Ye looked once more, then resolutely turned and stepped out of the Illusion Tower. Once outside, he dared not look back, his heart a tumult of emotions. He did not recall how he left Solitary Island nor how he returned home.

Meng Xiaoli stood motionless in the hall, watching Long Ye’s retreating figure leave the Illusion Tower. Suddenly, her emotions broke free, tears spilling uncontrollably. Memories of all their times together surged before her eyes—an indescribable emotion shifting from self-pity to pity for Long Ye and their love. But this love could never return to what it was. Though reluctant to look, she forced herself to watch Long Ye’s figure grow smaller and smaller, until he vanished—perhaps forever.

Dazed, Meng Xiaoli sank back into her seat. Only then did Luo Yun Su, who had been hiding in the back room, cautiously approach. She wanted to comfort Meng Xiaoli but found no words, so she silently stayed by her side.

After Long Ye’s departure, Meng Xiaoli realized that everything she had done—her survival, apprenticeship, founding the Red-Clad Goddess Sect, becoming its proud leader, and owning her land—had all been for Long Ye. Whether to prove something to him or to exact revenge, a piece of her heart was missing. She finally understood Long Ye’s words: “Losing you made life meaningless.” She almost comprehended why Long Ye married Jin Xiaodao despite not loving her. She empathized with his search for solace, his reluctance to love anyone, and why he kept a puppet like Luo Yun Su by his side.

Lost in thought, Meng Xiaoli went alone to the ancestral hall of Mount Bliss. She knelt before the spirit tablet of her master, Old Master Dugu, carefully wiping the already spotless plaque. She poured a cup of wine for the deceased master, then drank it down as if it were water, spilling it all over herself without noticing. Setting down the cup, her eyes bloodshot from the burn of the wine, she clutched her chest and said, “Master, my heart is hollow again, as if I’ve lost you once more.” Then, leaning on her hand, she wept bitterly, sobbing uncontrollably—letting herself grieve in full, unrestrained despair.

Meanwhile, Long Ye returned from Solitary Island, his mind adrift, to his countryside home. Upon entering, he saw Jin Xiaodao diligently washing their clothes in the courtyard.

Jin Xiaodao rose with a bright smile, “You’re back! Where have you been? You’ve been gone for days.” She stepped over and dusted him off.

Long Ye stared intently at her. Noticing his unusual expression, Jin Xiaodao asked with concern, “What’s wrong? You look terrible.”

Long Ye clenched the sword hilt tightly with his right hand, grinding his teeth and casting a fierce glance before finally asking, “Long Ze—did you kill her?”

The question struck Jin Xiaodao like a slap. She looked at Long Ye in panic, stammering for a long moment before suddenly realizing that Long Ye had found Meng Xiaoli and must have heard her story. Otherwise, why would he suddenly bring up this long-hidden issue, which he had never doubted before?

Jin Xiaodao retorted, “Why do you ask that?” Long Ye grabbed her shoulders, pressing her fiercely, “Tell me—is it true that you killed her?” Jin Xiaodao could only deny desperately, “No, why would I kill anyone? You have no proof to say such things!”

Long Ye shook his head, fury burning in his words, “Even if you deny it, I can no longer trust you. My daughter was harmed by you. How could I marry you? Today, I will kill you—for Long Ze, for Xiaoli, to avenge this.”

Drawing his sword, he pointed the blade at Jin Xiaodao’s throat.

Everything happened so suddenly that Jin Xiaodao was dumbfounded, staring first at Long Ye and then at the sword. “Wait! Long Ye, listen to me!” she cried.

Long Ye, unwilling to listen, swung the sword to strike. Jin Xiaodao shut her eyes tightly, shouting, “You love Meng Xiaoli—you love justice and righteousness. You’ve saved countless people, but you never saved me, not even for a moment, not a second of love. You stayed with me out of pity and loyalty. I did hurt Meng Xiaoli, but I never hurt you. I, Jin Xiaodao, have never wronged you.”

Long Ye’s heart turned cold; he gave a bitter smile. “You never wronged me? You killed my daughter, hurt the woman I love, betrayed my trust, tore my family apart—and you say you never wronged me?”

“I loved you,” Jin Xiaodao sobbed, “I gave you everything just to have you. Why don’t you love me? I was once a noble lady of the capital. Though fallen now, what about me isn’t worthy of you?”

Long Ye’s sword hand trembled as rage overwhelmed reason. He shouted, “Your love was selfish—despicable and shameless!” With that, he pressed the blade against her throat; a drop of blood trickled down.

Suddenly, a child’s cry pierced the tense air: “Dad! Mom!” Their daughter ran out from the house, tears streaming as she saw her parents fighting. She clung to Jin Xiaodao’s leg, crying, “Mom, don’t fight!”

Jin Xiaodao hurried to pick her up, soothing her while pleading silently with Long Ye. Seeing this, Long Ye’s sword hung suspended in the air. How could he kill her in front of their daughter? With a heavy heart, he lowered the blade and turned away, leaving the courtyard in despair.

Jin Xiaodao watched Long Ye’s forlorn figure disappear along the mountain path. A sudden realization struck her: her good days were numbered. Once Meng Xiaoli was found, if she lived a simple life, that would be one thing. But if Meng Xiaoli truly was the feared Demon Empress of Hell as rumored, she would never spare her. Formerly, Jin Xiaodao had feared Meng Xiaoli out of love for Long Ye. Now, with Meng Xiaoli’s heart unburdened, she would stop at nothing to kill her.

Jin Xiaodao lowered her gaze to her now-calm daughter, wiping the child’s tender face with hers, tears falling freely. She worried about protecting her daughter—how could she do so? Meng Xiaoli’s power was immense; no matter where she fled, she could not escape Meng Xiaoli’s watchful eyes. Now, only Long Ye could save them both. Yet, knowing the truth and already cold and distant toward her, he might well abandon them. But if Jin Xiaodao died, it would be one thing. She could not bear for Long Ye to be heartless toward their daughter too. Even if she could save only her child’s life, that would be enough for her.