Chapter 36

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In the next two rounds, Xu Er’s gameplay was even worse than before.

This time, he was not the only one who fell silent. All four of them exited the game in dejection.

After they dispersed, Xu Er watched the replay. It was absolutely unbearable.

He shut down the computer and instinctively picked up his phone, opening WeChat.

Out of habit, his next move would have been to open his chat with Song Ruichi and tell him that the game was over and he was getting ready for bed.

But at that moment, Xu Er suddenly felt that something was wrong.

When he complained that Song Ruichi reported every little thing to him, why had he never thought that he did exactly the same?

Whenever he saw something, heard something, or ate something, he had to tell Song Ruichi about it too.

What was this supposed to mean? Song Ruichi could do it, but he could not?

Had he really grown so accustomed to Song Ruichi?

Xu Er began staring blankly again.

The computer had been shut down for a long time. Xu Er stared at his reflection in the dark screen and only came back to himself after a long while. Then he closed the laptop.

In the end, he still told Song Ruichi that he had finished playing and was getting ready to sleep.

After washing up and returning to bed, he found messages from two people on his phone.

One was from Song Ruichi, wishing him good night.

Xu Er hesitated for a long time without replying, then backed out.

The other message was from Xu Chen.

“Bro, I fixed something up for you.”

A shamelessly smug sticker followed the message, giving Xu Er a vague sense that something was not right.

Xu Er: “What did you do?”

Xu Chen appeared immediately.

“Ready?”

Xu Chen: “Are you ready?!”

Xu Er: “Hurry up.”

Xu Chen: [Image]

Xu Er opened it, but after looking at it for only half a second, he shrank the image.

Then he closed Xu Chen’s chat.

Then he closed WeChat.

Then he turned off his phone.

That bastard had edited a screenshot of Xu Er kissing Song Ruichi on the neck. Relying on his professional skills, he had added a filter and even changed the background.

That mere half-second had been enough to deliver a tremendous visual impact. It was indecently seductive.

Xu Er: “…”

He paused for several seconds before picking up his phone again.

Xu Chen was still asking:

“How is it?”

Xu Chen: “Doesn’t it feel amazing?!”

Xu Er sent him a question mark.

Xu Er: “Amazing my ass.”

Xu Er: “Are you sick? You scared me.”

It was Xu Chen’s turn to send a question mark.

Xu Chen: “Why would a straight man be scared?”

Xu Chen: “A straight man walks in the light; only a petty man lives in fear.”

Xu Er: “Not funny.”

Xu Er opened the image again. At first glance, he had thought it was merely suggestive, but now that he had calmed down and looked carefully, he realized it was only more suggestive than before—there was no limit to it.

He had no idea what went on in Xu Chen’s head. How could simply adding a background and a filter make a photograph look so provocative?

In the end, Xu Er could not resist saving the picture.

Xu Chen sent another message:

“Do you think Colin and Chen Nan saw you kissing Song Ruichi in the video?”

Before Xu Er could say anything, Xu Chen sent another message.

“I don’t think so.”

Xu Chen: “With the way those two are, they would have started yelling if they’d seen it.”

Xu Er did not seem particularly concerned. He merely replied with an affirmative sticker.

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A new week began.

The new project Xu Er had taken over was underway. Since he had to go out that morning, he arrived earlier than usual and organized the materials first.

The office building was steeped in drowsiness in the early morning. Apart from the occasional footsteps, there was no other sound amid the people coming and going.

Xu Er waited by the elevator for a while, then entered with another young man who was waiting as well.

The young man beside him was not entirely unfamiliar. He worked in the department next to Xiao He’s and was called Xiao Min. When their eyes met, they exchanged a smile as a greeting.

As the elevator numbers slowly climbed, Xu Er remembered something.

Back then, Xiao Min had failed to join his project because his ex-boyfriend had caused a scene at the company.

The word “homosexual” flashed through Xu Er’s mind again. Remembering the incident now, he instinctively began sneaking glances at Xiao Min.

First he looked through the blurred reflection in the elevator doors, then he tilted his head slightly and looked from the corner of his eye.

As he watched, Xiao Min suddenly turned his head.

Xu Er immediately busied himself, touching his chin, rubbing his eyes, scratching his arm, and finally, like an ostrich, lowering his head to unzip his bag.

Fortunately, they had reached Xu Er’s floor. He quickly pulled up the zipper and walked out.

Still no gaydar.

Even when you knew, you could not necessarily tell.

That morning, he went out with Xiao He as well, to attend a meeting that was half important and half pointless.

It was the kind of meeting Song Ruichi had mentioned the day before—the sort where the leaders talked a great deal of nonsense.

Xu Er had nearly finished organizing the materials when Xiao He arrived.

The two of them tidied up and left.

Xiao He was exceptionally talkative. Recently, because the project had brought them closer, he had become even more loquacious.

An employee from his department had gotten into another argument in the group chat the previous day, so on the way there, Xiao He gave Xu Er a full recap and added some inside information Xu Er had not known.

Then they discussed why the company originally chosen for the project had suddenly been replaced.

Then, still on the subject of the project, Xiao He said, “Do you know Wang Xiaoxiao is gay?”

Xu Er froze. “No.”

Wang Xiaoxiao was the manager from the other company whom Song Ruichi had accompanied Xu Er to meet last time.

Naturally, Xu Er asked, “How do you know?”

Xiao He said, “He invited Zhang Xing out for coffee the day before yesterday and said some strange things.” He chuckled. “At first, Zhang Xing was so naive that he thought Wang Xiaoxiao wanted to discuss another project with him. He was thrilled when he went. Then Wang Xiaoxiao pulled that stunt, and Zhang Xing was scared half to death.”

Xu Er suddenly remembered. “Wang Xiaoxiao invited me out for coffee too.”

Xiao He was shocked. “What?”

“I didn’t go.”

Xiao He sighed in relief. “Good thing you didn’t.” Then he complained, “Why is he casting such a wide net?”

Xiao He continued, “Actually, I could tell Wang Xiaoxiao was gay the first time we met.”

Xu Er was puzzled. “How could you tell?”

“His general manner, the way he spoke, things like that,” Xiao He said. “And his social-media posts—aren’t they incredibly gay?”

Xu Er had no impression of Wang Xiaoxiao’s social-media posts. After thinking for a moment, he asked, “Is that gaydar?”

Xiao He was clearly surprised. “You know about gaydar?”

“I only found out recently.”

“I might have some gaydar,” Xiao He said. “After I learned that Xiao Min was gay, I felt like I developed a little. I’ve also been learning quite a lot about this sort of thing lately.”

Xu Er nodded.

Then he blinked.

“So,” Xu Er asked Xiao He, “who else in the company do you think is gay?”

Xiao He thought for a moment. “You know Su Yixuan, the top salesperson in the Sales Department?”

Xu Er nodded. “He is too?”

Xiao He smiled. “It’s only a suspicion.”

Xu Er asked, “Why? What makes you think so?”

“Certain mannerisms, the way he dresses, things like that.”

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“Anyone else?” Xu Er asked.

Xiao He thought again, then shook his head. “I can’t think of anyone.”

Xu Er let out a breath.

Xiao He added, “Some people are easy to identify, but most are just like us. There’s really no difference.”

“Oh, oh, oh.”

For the rest of the journey, Xu Er divided his attention between two things.

On one hand, he responded to Xiao He. On the other, he tried to remember what kind of person Su Yixuan was.

He also tried to remember what kind of person he himself was.

By the time the car stopped, he still had not reached any conclusion.

So he could only get to work.

It was another busy week. Amid the rush, Xu Er discovered that he had developed a small problem: whenever he picked up his phone, he thought of Song Ruichi.

If he picked up his phone a hundred times in a day, roughly eighty of those times would be related to Song Ruichi. Either Xu Er was contacting Song Ruichi, or Song Ruichi was contacting him.

Xu Er tried to restrain himself a little.

But that afternoon, Song Ruichi ordered milk tea for him again.

As a result, Xu Er could not sleep that night.

Although he decided it was the milk tea’s fault, he did not contact Song Ruichi. He simply digested the matter on his own, lying awake and letting his thoughts run wild until after three in the morning.

In the days that followed, Xu Er grew busy and tried to use his phone less, leaving it alone whenever there was no need to touch it.

He stopped photographing his meals, stopped photographing the sunlight at work, and stopped photographing the night scenery on his way home.

On Tuesday evening, Xu Er went to Song Ruichi’s house for dinner as they had agreed.

This time, he kept his head down and ate. He also pretended to have a great deal of work on his phone, tapping it from time to time, replying to messages, and checking his email.

Song Ruichi was surprisingly quiet as well. When Xu Er said nothing, he said nothing either. The two of them ate the entire meal in silence.

Afterward, Xu Er wanted to go home alone. He did not want to trouble Song Ruichi, but Song Ruichi insisted on seeing him off.

He only accompanied Xu Er as far as the entrance to the residential compound, however. They exchanged a simple goodbye and went their separate ways, still without saying much.

That night, Song Ruichi wished him good night. The message arrived precisely around Xu Er’s usual bedtime. Xu Er thought about it for a long time but did not reply.

It was not until the next morning that he answered with a simple “Morning.”

So the following night, there was not even a good-night message.

But on the third day, Xu Er still could not stop himself from initiating a “Morning.” Ten minutes later, he received Song Ruichi’s reply. At that moment, the heart that had been hanging suspended finally settled.

After that, their conversations inevitably grew more and more infrequent.

Xu Er would still habitually pick up his phone, only to put it down again when nothing happened.

Xu Er felt that the urge to share things really was nothing more than a habit. After gradually stopping himself from sharing over the past few days, he realized that many things no longer seemed necessary to say aloud.

He could not even remember how he had lived before Song Ruichi came into his life.

It was deeply confusing. In that hazy period before sleep, he was always wondering what was right and what was wrong.

He felt like a stranger to himself, yet also felt that he was still the same person he had always been.

Thursday came soon enough. It was the day Song Ruichi had previously said he would cook at home.

At nine that evening, Xu Er finished the last stroke on his work computer and left the office.

He had taken the day off from dinner, though, and told Song Ruichi that he would not be going over that night.

Song Ruichi did not ask why. He only said all right.

Xu Er was the one who could not get past it psychologically, insisting on working unnecessary overtime.

Then, on Friday, they did not contact each other at all.

On Saturday, Xu Er’s nephew was turning one, so early that morning he took the gift for his nephew and went home.

He went straight to his cousin’s house, but it was still early. None of the relatives had arrived yet; only Xu Er and his aunt’s family were there.

The moment Xu Er stepped through the door, his aunt’s first words were, “Xiao Er, you’re here.”

Her second sentence was, “Goodness, why do you look so pale?”

Everyone in the room turned to look at him. His mother even came out of his cousin’s room.