Chapter 47: I'm Your Captain, Aweigh—Open the Door Quickly! (Please Keep Reading)

Before they could lament the sudden end of the bond between Qiusheng and the female ghost, the strange changes in the coffin of the Ren family patriarch in the mortuary drew their full attention once more.

The coffin, marked with the chalk line’s pattern, began to emit a golden glow. Inside, the elderly Ren patriarch had already undergone a corpse transformation; a hand with long, sharp nails stretched out from the crack at the bottom of the coffin. However, it struck the chalk line and recoiled immediately.

Uncle Jiu heard the noise and came to investigate, but seeing the chalk line intact and the coffin lid tightly sealed, he assumed it was Wencai sleepwalking and went back to bed.

The next day, Uncle Jiu went to discuss the important matter of relocating the grave with the Ren family, while his two disciples found themselves entangled with Ren Tingting, the young lady of the Ren household.

Portrayed perfectly by the young wealthy heiress, Ren Tingting exuded the refined air of a noble lady—gentle with a touch of playful willfulness.

Wencai and Qiusheng wanted to compete fairly, but they couldn’t rival the childhood friend, as Ah Wei, the cousin played by Wang Xun, swooped in and stole the show.

Who exactly were Wencai and Qiusheng? Though not as skilled as Uncle Jiu, they too belonged to the mystical sect. Thus, the two plotted to play a prank on Ah Wei.

Their comedic mischief instantly dispersed the earlier eerie atmosphere.

Wang Guang and the others burst into laughter, having long forgotten the ghost and zombie matters.

For a film to be enjoyable, it cannot keep the audience on edge the entire time. A supernatural comedy weaves in humorous interludes amid tension to soothe the viewers.

After the laughter subsided, the story returned to its main thread. Deep in the mortuary late at night, the Ren patriarch finally broke free from his prison, bursting out of the coffin.

Just as Uncle Jiu predicted, upon awakening, the Ren patriarch followed the bloodline’s call to the old Ren mansion and immediately killed his own son, the current head of the family.

With the patriarch dead, Ah Wei, the town’s security captain, mobilized troops to surround the Ren estate heavily.

Uncle Jiu and his disciples arrived swiftly. Seeing the state of the patriarch’s corpse, they realized it was a zombie attack and urgently sent a disciple back to check if the patriarch’s body was still in the mortuary.

Ah Wei, however, lacked the insight to grasp the situation. When Uncle Jiu gently revealed the cause of death, Ah Wei accused him of murdering the patriarch and had him imprisoned.

Moreover, since the patriarch was killed by a zombie, he was destined to become one tonight.

Ah Wei and Ren Tingting, the last of the Ren bloodline, faced dire odds that night. Uncle Jiu instructed his two disciples to bring weapons and arranged for Wencai to protect Ren Tingting, imparting a life-saving tip: when facing a zombie, hold your breath, for it cannot see you if you don’t breathe.

What followed was one of the iconic scenes from "Mr. Vampire," starring Wang Xun as Ah Wei.

While the comedic antics unfolded, the patriarch had already risen. The prison door wouldn’t open, so Uncle Jiu drew a talisman to help Qiusheng restrain the patriarch. Despite some struggle, Qiusheng’s skills proved sufficient to subdue him.

The crisis should have been resolved, but Ah Wei was not satisfied.

Discovering Qiusheng’s hiding place, Ah Wei ordered his men out and declared, "No matter what happens here, do not open the door!"

He wanted to personally torment Qiusheng.

Carelessly, he tore off the talisman from his uncle’s forehead, causing him to rise again.

Thus began Ah Wei’s torment: first, he sat on a bed of nails, then launched himself on Newton’s coffin board, landing on the patriarch’s shoulder, nearly sealing his fate.

If not for Qiusheng’s help, he would have already joined the ranks of the undead.

Though armed with a gun, it was useless against zombies. No matter how skilled Qiusheng’s martial arts, he could not withstand the patriarch.

The scene was perilous, yet strangely, Wang Guang and the others couldn’t stop laughing, clutching their bellies.

Particularly when Ah Wei tried to escape, shouting outside the door, "Open up! Open the door!"

His men were obedient: "We won’t open the door for anyone calling."

"But I’m your captain, Ah Wei! Open up!"

Some soldiers approached to open the door, but upon seeing the zombie inside, they slammed it shut in fright.

Wang Guang and the others were nearly hysterical with laughter.

The confrontation with the patriarch appeared dangerous, but they found it uproariously funny.

For instance, when Qiusheng finally affixed another talisman to the patriarch’s forehead, it was Ah Wei who blew it away in one breath, giving his uncle an extended chance at survival.

The three held their breath to hide from the zombie, but Uncle Jiu’s cunning emerged once again—he pinched Ah Wei’s ribs, forcing him to exhale and divert the patriarch’s attention.

Fortunately, Uncle Jiu soon escaped, and together with his disciple, they sent the patriarch to his final rest.

Meanwhile, at the mortuary, Wencai guarded the weapon cache like a treasure boy, waiting.

It wasn’t until five in the morning that the Ren matriarch finally appeared.

The big boss had arrived, breaking through two doors straight to the mortuary.

Wencai immediately told Ren Tingting, "Don’t be afraid, I’ll protect you!"

Yet the next moment, he exemplified instant cowardice, hiding behind Ren Tingting at the sight of the boss’s approach.

Another tense game of breath-holding hide-and-seek ensued.

Wencai, resourceful as ever, had prepared a hollow bamboo tube and even managed to tease the zombie with it.

In his overconfidence, he blew air into the zombie’s face, only for the bamboo tube to be snatched away, forcing him to hold his breath stubbornly.

Just as everyone thought he was doomed, Wencai cleverly stuffed a cotton swab into the zombie’s nose, narrowly escaping disaster once more.

"Whew, this guy really is something!" Wang Guang and the others cheered at the scene.

Unfortunately, zombies can sneeze too, and the cotton swab was expelled.

The two immediately held their breath again. The zombie, unable to see them, searched around, but then Wencai couldn’t help himself and let out a fart, prompting the zombie to chase him.

Just as he was about to be caught, reinforcements arrived after the delay.

But the big boss was no ordinary foe. Having been sealed away for twenty years, the Ren patriarch was far stronger than the current head.

He not only forced Uncle Jiu to retreat but also grabbed Wencai, his deep nails sinking into Wencai’s arm, injecting a deadly corpse toxin that caused Wencai to faint.

Though Uncle Jiu and Qiusheng fought with all their might, the big boss’s tough physique made physical attacks ineffective.

Clearly, only magic could defeat him.

Thus, the master and disciple worked in tandem, luring the zombie away. Uncle Jiu used a chalk line net, which momentarily trapped the zombie. Then soldiers outside opened fire, severely wounding him, forcing a retreat.

Wencai remained unconscious from the toxin, but Uncle Jiu, noticing in time, applied snake bile to the wound and urged Wencai to keep moving to prevent stiffness.

At this point, Huang Bo’s portrayal of Wencai included a hilariously awkward “dance” that made viewers want to look away.

Originally, spreading glutinous rice on the bed and feeding him rice porridge could cure the toxin. However, news that glutinous rice could cure zombies had spread, and all the rice was sold out.

Qiusheng had to go to the neighboring village, where he encountered a dishonest merchant and a foolish father-son duo. The rice was mixed with sticky rice—heavier in weight but adulterated.

By the time he returned, evening had fallen, and the female ghost, Xiao Yu, finally reappeared to the delight of Wang Guang and the others.

Yet when the ghost tried to seduce the night watchman into a private performance, unlike other films where ghosts easily lure passersby, this watchman was steadfast and refused.

In the end, the ghost used magic to force him into a tormented state, but even then, Qiusheng heroically saved the day.

What followed was the much-anticipated segment, where the ghost takes maternity leave—provided one dares to watch.

Qiusheng had no time for his junior brother now; the ghost was far more enticing.

Ahem, the process of the ghost’s maternity leave, knowing that many dislike it, will be omitted here.