Chapter 46: A Person Fears the Worst, Incense Despises Two Shorts and One Long

"The Feng Shui master said, 'If ancestors are buried upright, later generations will definitely thrive!'"

"And does that actually work?"

"For the past twenty years, our Master Ren's business has been getting worse and worse. We have no idea why," Master Ren said, shaking his head.

This left Wang Guang and the other viewers equally curious. Since it was an auspicious Feng Shui site, why would something like this happen?

Uncle Nine quickly provided the answer.

"I'd say that Feng Shui master had a grudge against your Ren family..."

It soon became clear to everyone just how terrifying a Feng Shui master could be, because this auspicious plot had been forcefully seized by the Ren family from that very Feng Shui master.

"I bet it was intimidation, otherwise he wouldn't have let you cover the entire Dragonfly Skimming the Water spot with cement."

"Then what should it have been like?"

"It should have been covered with a crown of snow; that's what makes it a true Dragonfly Skimming the Water. If the head of the coffin doesn't touch water, how can it be called Dragonfly Skimming the Water?" Uncle Nine gave the answer.

Wang Guang and the others still felt mystified despite sounding profound.

"What is a crown of snow?" Wang Guang asked.

"How the hell should I know!" his roommate retorted irritably.

"Could it be that we're supposed to go get snow to cover it?"

"Stop talking nonsense. Just keep watching. It's actually really interesting."

They continued watching the movie. The coffin was dug up, and just as they were about to open it, crows suddenly filled the sky in the woods, instantly creating an eerie atmosphere.

Clearly, even if Wang Guang and his friends didn't understand the inner workings of the occult, they could still sense that something was abnormal.

Sure enough, when the coffin was opened, a blast of black vapor soared straight up into the sky from inside.

The patriarch of the Ren family inside was dressed in an official Qing Dynasty robe. The crucial point was that after being buried for twenty years, the corpse had not decayed at all; even a fool would know there was a problem here.

Uncle Nine suggested cremating it on the spot, but Master Ren protested that his father had been afraid of fire during his lifetime and would not agree to cremation, leaving Uncle Nine with no choice.

He had no alternative but to take the coffin and Master Ren's corpse back to the local mortuary to be kept safe until a new auspicious burial site could be found.

Soon, the second sub-plot began.

Uncle Nine instructed his two apprentices to set up a plum blossom incense array in front of the old master's grave, and to burn a stick of incense at each of the surrounding tombs as well.

This was to offer apologies to the disturbed spirits!

As a result, Qiusheng arrived at a tomb and discovered that the deceased was named Dong Xiaoyu, who had died at the age of only twenty. Qiusheng couldn't help but sigh over the tragedy of a beautiful life cut short, but the very next moment, the photograph on the tombstone actually moved.

And it replied, "Thank you!"

"Holy crap!"

"What the heck!"

Wang Guang and the others were startled by this thank-you. They hadn't really expected that this film actually featured ghosts.

Qiusheng turned back to look closely, thinking his ears were playing tricks on him, but before he knew it, as he turned his head again, he heard the voice say, "Thank you!"

He was scared out of his wits on the spot.

Consequently, he collided with Wencai, who was hurrying over. Wencai had rushed there because the incense had burned down to uneven lengths, which was clearly a sign of trouble.

The two of them quickly ran back to find their master.

This plot sequence linked directly into the previous one, preventing any narrative disconnection.

Thus, the next scene was the one from the trailer: "Of all things, mortals fear sudden misfortune; of all omens, incense dreads two short and one long!"

The so-called "Such incense in the hall means someone's gonna fall."

Uncle Nine worried that disaster was about to strike the Ren family, and his fears quickly became reality.

The corpse of Master Ren's father was swelling rapidly, and blue fingernails were growing out, clearly indicating that it was about to turn into a hopping vampire soon.

Knowing that the corpse would target its own blood relatives immediately after transforming, Uncle Nine suspected that the Feng Shui master had known this all along, deliberately letting Master Ren's father unleash the vampire to cut off his own bloodline with his own hands.

This made Wang Guang and the others' hair stand on end. Feng Shui masters were truly terrifying!

Uncle Nine immediately ordered his apprentices to fetch five ritual tools: yellow paper, a talisman brush, black ink, a real saber, a peach wood sword, and a rooster. Then, he began performing the ritual.

Uncle Nine executed a dazzling series of intricate hand gestures that looked completely authentic. It turned out he was preparing a special carpenter's ink marker.

The movements flowed like moving clouds and flowing water. Even though Wang Guang and the others knew clearly that it was scripted, it possessed a magical sort of persuasiveness.

These movements had been designed by Chen Mer in collaboration with Uncle Ying and Third Uncle according to Chen Mer's vision, and Uncle Ying had practiced for a long time to achieve such fluency.

Next came the instruction for the two apprentices to snap the ink-soaked cord mixed with rooster blood all over the coffin, which would seal the vampire inside. Along the way, Uncle Nine also educated them on how vampires were formed.

"People are divided into good and bad; corpses are divided into dead bodies and vampires. A person becomes bad because they fail to strive, while a corpse becomes vampire because it retains one extra breath. The vital breath, repressed breath, and suffocating breath before death gather in the throat and fail to disperse, and that's how it turns into a vampire."

"That's why I say people must strive, and the most important thing upon death is to draw your final breath. If that breath doesn't leave you, it will harm others and yourself!"

Uncle Nine repeatedly warned the two apprentices not to miss any spots while snapping the ink line.

However, the setup had already been laid in the first plot sequence: Wencai and Qiusheng were careless and preoccupied with horseplay. As a result, due to their negligence, they actually forgot to snap the ink line on the bottom of the coffin, which was equivalent to a giant hole torn in a fishing net.

At this moment, the camera cut to a close-up of the coffin, where the cold light at the bottom contrasted sharply with the warm light above.

Seeing this, Wang Guang and the others guessed that it was precisely because of the duo's carelessness that the vampire would later be able to burst out of the coffin.

Then followed another comedic segment. During their horseplay, Qiusheng accidentally struck a heavy blow to Uncle Nine's head with a stick, but made Wencai take the blame for it.

Fleeing in a panic, Qiusheng ran off, completely ignoring the fact that traveling alone at midnight made it easy to encounter spirits.

He hastily jammed a stick of incense into the handlebars of his bicycle and made his escape.

There was actually a subtle detail here that many people failed to notice, and Wang Guang and his friends were naturally no exception.

This detail was that at the opening of the film, Wencai used his hand to fan out the open flame of the incense, whereas here, Qiusheng blew it out with his breath.

This detail carried profound significance. It was said that human breath contained turbid energy, and blowing out incense was equivalent to spitting on someone else's food, which was extremely impolite.

If done to a living person, they might just get angry and dislike it, but incense was meant for the dead to consume, which made it a completely different matter.

The ensuing atmosphere made the backs of Wang Guang and the others feel somewhat chilly.

It could be said that one of the four legendary scenes in *Mr. Vampire*—and perhaps even the most brilliant sequence in the entire film—was the upcoming entrance of the ghost bride.

Chen Mer loved this scene dearly. To recreate the authentic atmosphere of the original version, he had poured immense effort into it, with the song being the most crucial element of all.

Deep in the cold, misty mountain forests of the dead of night, pale-faced figures stole by the moonlight, carrying a red bridal sedan chair. Inside was the ghost bride, wearing a red crown and phoenix veil in search of her beloved groom.

It was none other than Dong Xiaoyu, the one who had spoken with Qiusheng during the day.

Qiusheng's sympathetic and tender remarks before the tombstone had caught her eye, leading her to wait specifically for him here.

Xiaoyu leaped out of the sedan chair and landed on a tree branch along Qiusheng's inevitable route, presenting the iconic scene that would forever remain famous in cinematic history.

A very distinctive musical melody began to play.

"Her gaze, her gaze, is just like, just like stars shining..."

Qiusheng rode past on his bicycle, and the ghost bride drifted down from the tree branch, landing precisely on the backseat of Qiusheng's bicycle.

She originally wanted to follow Qiusheng home, but was blocked by a tree branch adorned with protective talismans, leaving her with no choice but to watch her beloved lover depart.

This scene actually left Wang Guang and the others wanting more. After all, they had been imagining what would happen next, and then—just like that?

"We took off our pants for this?"

"Which part were you hoping to see?"

"As long as you're bold enough, female ghosts get maternity leave! We already had Ning Caichen and Xu Xian setting the standard!"

Wang Guang and his roommates couldn't help but make sarcastic remarks.

Well, men being men, everyone understood.